A Virtual Life in Football Options

[Smurf]

If this version is anything like the others I'd imagine you'll make the team when the game does it's predictable mid season mass of injuries.

I've got a game going in FM2007 at the moment and my entire first choice midfield is out injured. Including my two main backups. In FM without fail there will be a point every season when one area of the pitch is destroyed* by injuries.

*I was going to put in decimated but feared the Kenti wrath!

[Feet]

I'm imagining Josh looking like Cristiano Ronaldo and Feet looking like Iain Dowie.

Ouch! Iain Downie?!? Low blow!


I'm a WAY better footballer than him!

[Carlisle Dave]

When will your dashing Italian central defender, Inserto Namea Herea make the team?

Probably when injuries or fatigue hit. You've made 4 unremarkable appearances for the reserves and have warmed the bench a couple of times.

Ugly tbh

I'm imagining Josh looking like Cristiano Ronaldo and Feet looking like Iain Dowie.

I'll leave it for the people to decide...

[Insert Name Here]

If this version is anything like the others I'd imagine you'll make the team when the game does it's predictable mid season mass of injuries.

I've got a game going in FM2007 at the moment and my entire first choice midfield is out injured. Including my two main backups. In FM without fail there will be a point every season when one area of the pitch is destroyed* by injuries.

*I was going to put in desimated but feared the Kenti wrath!

Actually you could probably say if you had no players left for one position your (outfield) team had been decimated, since one tenth of it would be missing.

[Carlisle Dave]

So when we left the boys at the end of September we were on a high, unbeaten in the league and trouncing all comers. However, a look at the assistant manager 's report (Fat Man Jan) before our next game against Forest Green makes for worrying reading...



So Kramer is becoming insufferable. Any surprise there? Still, I'm worried that we're getting over confident which could be expected given we're performing above expectations. After all we were meant to only get a mid-table finish. Still, Forest Green are 18th in the league so shouldn't prove too difficult to overcome. Right? Erm... disaster!



Within the space of five minutes we go a goal behind and lose two players to injury. Carlisle Dave scores from a 35 yard freekick but we concede a last minute goal, resulting in our first defeat of the season. Kidz in particular scores a rating of 5, so I tell him he's an embarrassment. He doesn't seem to mind. Worse still is the news about Smurf. Whilst Elihu has merely picked up a slight knock, Smurf has torn his hamstring and will be out for four months! I tell the press that this is a huge blow for the team and as a result Smurf begins to love Maxx Steele.



Still, we can cheer ourselves with the draw for the FA Cup Fourth Qualifying round. How romantic...



A team so lowly they are even in the regional version of the Blue Square league. So hopefully that's us into the first round proper.

Whilst all this has been going on Masked Dave has been jaunting around the continent living the high life of an international footballer. Has he been furthering the reputation of ¬_¬? Erm, no...




We scrape to a 1-1 draw in our next game and this time it is Kramer who feels the ire of the fans with a particularly lacklustre performance. So we go into the FA Cup game in a mini-crisis. But surely we'll beat Farnborough? Well, I suspect if we don't, confusion will play a part given the state of the strips...



Disaster strike as we go a goal down but Kramer fires us level from the edge of the box almost immediately. The game is heading for a replay when substitute young striker King Dumpalot goes on a mazy run, picks out Kramer unmarked at the back post and he rolls it into the net. Through to the first round proper! Unfortunately, the hamstring curse strikes again...



At least a pull is better than a tear. Still, I think we need to start protecting our thighs if we're going to win promotion this season. As we leave the ¬_¬ gang, the draw for the FA Cup First Round is made.



No, I've not heard of them either.

[Carlisle Dave]

Trouble on the pitch. Trouble off the pitch...



It seems that Josh's pro-Palestinian views (being half Palestinian) are clashing with Superpig's pro-Israeli views (being half-Israeli.) Hopefully it will limit itself to the two players involved but it could spread... worrying times! However, whilst some relationships are breaking down, some are beginning to blossom!



Aww!

EDIT: Just been asked if I've lost control of the dressing room. Told the press to get stuffed.

EDIT EDIT: We are through to the FA Cup Second Round thanks to a hat trick from Dave the Explosive Newt, who is obviously overjoyed at having someone to groom.



Drawn York in Round Two. Who also happen to be in the Blue Square Premiership. Potential for Premiership opposition if we get through to the Third Round.

[Carlisle Dave]

Things are not going to plan. After our thumping 4-1 win in the FA Cup the players just don't seem up to it. Our next game is against our second round opponents York, though this is in the league, where we have a nine point advantage at the top. Unfortunately we go 2-0 down very quickly. I give the players a roasting at half time and they come out. Feet, who continues to be unmarked by most teams at corners and pegs one back. Then Jim, on as a substitute, draws a foul from an opposing player and the ref sends him off. From the resulting free kick, Jim this time is left unmarked to slot one in deep into injury time. 2-2 but things are looking ominous.



However, we have another cup game to look forward to in the future as we get drawn in the FA Trophy against the mighty Newport County. We have a chance of winning this cup you know.



Our next game sees Masked Dave and Kramer make a return from injury and despite going a goal behind we quickly turn things around and take a 2-1 lead. However, both Masked Dave and Kramer limp off before the end...





Oh God. Luckily we have Jim to come in for Kramer and he's up for it.



Unfortunately with Smurf out long term and now Masked Dave we're in the middle of a bit of an injury crisis. To the extent that I have no wide defenders left now and have had to bring in a chap who was signed on-loan before I took charge of the club. So we go into our FA Cup Second Round tie with an unfamiliar line up at the back. Despite this, TSP scores from 20 yards and we're ahead. Then disaster...



Carlisle Dave picks up a knock and our on-loan defender is stretchered off soon after. Unfortunately I have no defenders on the bench. Change in system required!



Somehow we scrape through.



Unfortunately the injuries to our defenders are not just simple knocks. Carlisle Dave is going to be out for about a month with a twisted knee whilst our loan player's injury is so bad we're advised to terminate his contract. Ouch!





Still, we're through to the third round of the FA Cup, where we will face the mighty Millwall. Hey Kidz gets a bit of a boost finishing as first loser in the goal of the month contest.



December now and we're almost halfway through the season. Five points clear at the top. No defenders. Time for some ¬_¬ spirit. This could be Insert Name Here's time to shine.

[Smurf]

When will your dashing Italian central defender, Inserto Namea Herea make the team?

If this version is anything like the others I'd imagine you'll make the team when the game does it's predictable mid season mass of injuries.

I've got a game going in FM2007 at the moment and my entire first choice midfield is out injured. Including my two main backups. In FM without fail there will be a point every season when one area of the pitch is destroyed* by injuries.

*I was going to put in decimated but feared the Kenti wrath!

This could be Insert Name Here's time to shine.

Called it. ¬_¬

[Kramer]

[Carlisle Dave]

December is the cruellest month. Well April is but we've not got that far yet so December will have to do. Our defenders are dead. Weighing up the options, I go for the suspiciously pale Lu Tze over Insert Name Here, experience over youth. Worrying as well is the form of our main goalscorer Dave the Explosive Newt who in his last few games has scored less than a 6. I decide to call him out on it.



Dave admits he's unhappy with his form but doesn't exactly say what he's going to do about it. Doesn't even look unhappy does he?



However, things seem to work with him picking up a goal in our next game against Gateshead, titans of non-league football. I like to see this as me beating Jim. Also, note yet another injury, this time to our plucky centre forward King Dumpalot.



A neglected man in our current run is Janek. I think this tells its own tale.



Stirling work sir! However, the curse of the torn muscle strikes again and Dumpalot is laid up for awhile. Still, it'll give him time to get to a barbers and get the hairstyle sorted. Tsk tsk. (Possibly the end of his season alas.)



Next game is against Luton who are 3rd in the league and tipped to win it. Their manager comes at us with his flabby mouth flabbing off about how we're losers.



I'm not standing for that says I! Have at you! I didn't actually say this but it's what the game wants me to say. In reality I belittled the size of his genitalia.



Unfortunately, thanks to Josh (¬_¬) we lose 2-1. When I say thanks to Josh, the fact that he conceded two penalties in the match (one of which was saved by Janek or things would been worse) was largely the reason to blame for defeat along with him missing a crucial interception. He scores the lowest rating any of our players have yet scored.



Crisis of injuries, crisis of form. Things are not looking good, even if we are still about 7 points clear at the top. Unfortunately things get slightly more worse when I get reprimanded by the FA for suggesting, in an annoying Scottish accent, that the referee should have gone to Spec-Savers.



Thankfully we win our next game in the FA Trophy and are through to the second round, largely thanks to Elihu and Feet who bag a goal apiece. Next up: Staines.

[Feet]

FFS Josh.

[Josh]

[Smurf]

And yet he keeps the captains armband. He should be stripped of the captaincy and made to clean the toilets.

[Josh]

Steady on, I'm just playing badly, it's not like I cheated on my wife or nuffin'

[Hey Kidz]

Hey I hadn't noticed this before!

[Carlisle Dave]

Nothing too much to report after the next couple of games. We've lost one, won one. Jim has ended his goal drought and sticking them away quite nicely. Unfortunately what there is to report is more injuries. Jenad is out for a couple of months, meaning this is Hentzau's chance to shine.



That injury now means that the game is describing the team as "injury ravaged".



Crumbs!

[Carlisle Dave]

It's contract renewal time and everyone is quite happily signing on the dotted line. Well, I say everyone, but of course there has to be one trouble maker...



However, there is some good news - Smurf is back! £12'000 of right back, right back in the team. Just in time for the game against Millwall too!



Jim also manages to finish 3rd in a beauty contest.



December and the year ends and we're still top of the league, having just beat Stevenage 2-1. It's FA Cup 3rd Round weekend. I'm predicting a cricket score - to Millwall.

[Hey Kidz]

I'm dying to know what happened.