Jump to content


Not Enemies


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
3 replies to this topic

#1 Masked Dave

Masked Dave

    Ultimate Lu-Tze

  • Admin

Posted 10 May 2005 - 11:43 PM

joranj woke up bleary eyed, blinking a few times to try and knock the sleep from his eyes he glared passed his fading picture of the old TCP gang and over at his alarm clock. It was only gone noon but he could sleep any more, so decided to get some breakfast.

Pulling on his dressing gown he stumbled through Atlantis base towards the kitchen. On his way he passed the cold, lifeless form of Optimus Prime which had run out of power long ago and he hadn't bothered to charge him up again. The place had long since fell into disgrace, with pizza boxes and beer bottles strewn about and other clutter that he didn't dare investigate, it looked for all the world like a bunch of squatters, or worse, students had invaded and taken up residence.

Finally arriving at the kitchen he reached up and took out a box of poptarts from the cupboard, having long since ran out of clean bowls. As he put them in a the toaster he noticed something that he definately hadn't left there, a small sub-machine gun. Picking it up he looked it over quizically when he heard the toilet in the next room flush. Caught by surprise he held the gun outwards as the door opened and a man stepped through holding a book entitled 'Aiming for Dummies'.

"Masked," sighed joranj, lowering the gun, "What the hell are you doing here? And is this yours?"

"No, sorry, that's mine," said TimePie, also stepping out of the toilet and taking the gun from joranj's hand.

joranj stood looking at the toilet door, "Er.. what were you both doing in there?"

"Nothing," they both replied.

TimePie went over and sat on joranj's sofa and turned on the TV, "Nice set up you got here jj."

"Thanks, but-"

"Hey, you got any food?" asked Masked opening his fridge.

"I don't think so, why-"

The toaster popped and Masked looked up, "Ooh, poptarts!" said Masked and grabbed them before joranj could intercept. "You don't mind do you?"

"Well kinda, but seriously-"

"Ah, thanks mate. I knew I could count on you."

"What the hell-"

'Go, Go, Power Rangers!' suddenly blared the TV.

"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Masked, grabbing his side arm and diving towards the TV, firing. He shot up a lamp on the other side of the room.

"Oh shit! Sorry, I forgot," said TimePie, changing channel.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!" yelled joranj

"Oh, didn't we tell you? We're moving in."

(music, sing along!)
So no-one told you life was gonna be this way,
You're job's a joke, you're broke, and no-one's D.O.A!
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When you haven't managed to make a kill, for over a year, but

I'll be there for you!
When the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you!
Like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you!
'Cause you're there for me too.

You're still in bed at ten, when work began at eight.
Lost your Empire so far things are going great!
Young Melvin warned you there'd be days like these,
But if only you could bring the world, down to it's knees!

I'll be there for you!
When the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you!
Like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you!
'Cause you're there for me too.

Everybody used to love me, everyone would gather round me,
I used to be a crimefighter now, I'm stuck beneath the sea,
I tried to be a bad guy, and make all the others cry
But I just ended lonely,
Now I just wish I'd stayed with her.
Yeah!

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
'Cause Marple ruined your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but

I'll be there for you!
When the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you!
Like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you!
'Cause you're there for me too.

I'll be there for you!
I'll be there for you!
I'll be there for you!
'Cause you're there for me too.

"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#2 Josh

Josh

    Evil bird

  • Admin

Posted 11 May 2005 - 06:16 PM

"What? You're What? What of the what what?!" spluttered joranj with a great deal of the saliva.

"Hey, dude, say it, don't spray it!" said TimePie, sheilding his face.

"I wanted the news, not the weather!" added Masked. TimePie wound back for another but joranj cut in faster.

"What are you doing in my sub-aquatic base?"

"We got our reasons," said TimePie.

"Yeah, we both got our reasons," said Masked, looking like this: :shifty:

"Look, you can't stay here. I've got a girl coming around any time... this is supposed to be my chick magnet... You guy's'll throw off my moves..."

Masked looked around at the piles of pizza boxes, beer cans and skidmarked underwear. "Uhuh," he said.

joranj looked around. "Uh, I guess Vassal's been a bit busy with the Kipper Cannons," he mumbled.

"We won't be here for long," said TimePie, "and even if we are then you can share my ladyboys. C'mon, it'll be fun! Let's go to the pub, eh... housemates!" With that, TimePie strode out of the front door. joranj sighed; he wondered how long it would be before his new guests would realise that they were deep below the sea and a long, long way away from the nearest pub...
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#3 Masked Dave

Masked Dave

    Ultimate Lu-Tze

  • Admin

Posted 11 May 2005 - 07:29 PM

Masked swivelled on the bar stool and took a dip sip from his pint, "Amazing place this, can't believe joranj's had this secret local the whole time and never told us!"

"I know," said TimePie, wyping the foam from off his lip, "You'd think he didn't want us hanging around or something."

joranj stood in the open door way to the pub and stammered, "Wha? How? Where? WHO?"

"Come on Master J, another pint of bitter please barman!"

The comical ethnic minority behind the bar pulled a perfect pint and placed in on the bar. No cash was asked for and none offered.

"Where did this come from?!"

"Come on joranj, surely you've explored your own base?"

"Explored it?! I bloody designed it! And last time I checked the throne room/command centre didn't lead onto a cobbled street with a god damn pub on it!"

"Alright, calm down, your pint's getting warm."
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#4 Masked Dave

Masked Dave

    Ultimate Lu-Tze

  • Admin

Posted 02 June 2005 - 04:49 PM

"Oh right! Okay, I get it," said joranj, after his fifth pint, "This is one of those alternate reality...thingies. You know, like the time we had Marple trapped in a whatist and you pissed on the machine and became God."

TimePie smiled, "Aah yeah, good times, good times."

"What do you mean an alternate reality? Why is this an alternate reality?" asked Masked, who really needed the toilet but was acutely aware of the aforementioned trouble this caused when TimePie had tried to achieve the same task.

"Why else are you guys moving in? That doesn't make sense! Aren't you like stinking rich?"

"I used to be, but I haven't killed anybody is so long that I can't afford the rent on my place anymore. Chasing Marple around the world has been quite expensive y'know."

"Why not just kill other people again?"

"I don't know, my heart's not really in it anymore I suppose. I'm thinking of quitting and getting a proper job. You know, something behind a desk, wearing a suit."

"See! Alternate reality! Masked from my world would never want to quit!" joranj proclaimed, slamming his empty glass on the bar and leabing back with a smug grin, before promptly falling over backwards.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu