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The Couch of Pigmund Freud


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#1 Pigmund Freud

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Posted 25 March 2009 - 11:53 PM

Oink, oink. It is I, the great analyst of the human and porcine condition, the hogfather of modern psychoanalysis, the great Pigmund Freud!

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I have long studied the writings on this website-type-place and most compelling nutrition it has proved to my piggy, piggy brain. Oink! Yes, I have decided it is time we got to the bottom of your deep-seated hidden meanings in what you write. We're going to snuffle them out, much in the way that I snuffle truffles in my spare time.

I have noticed from studying the laptop sprawled across my couch, pouring your heart out, that escaping from prisons is an incredibly common theme. It has thus far occurred to some degree in numerous Mysteries, Racconti, Fate or Flight, A Tale of Two Histories, The Last Temptation of Popeman, Monte Dumas, Pokémon Fan-fiction, Maxx Steele, Slave to the Groove and no doubt many more. Yes, escape from captivity is a common theme here all right.

What does this mean though? For me the answer is clear. Repressed homosexuality. I think you are all in the closet and yearning to open the door into a new velvet trousered world. Your writing turns to repression to represent the repression that permeates through your life. The overtly homosexual underovertones of Pokémon Fan-fiction merely highlight this further - a story which features moments in showers, two heroes "riding" to freedom, a nonce and some apparently platonic male-male friendship. Somehow I think not. Yes the use of these Pocket Monsters (surely a euphemism if ever there was one) merely shows even more repression - creatures forced to spend most of their time in dark balls of gloom. Surely this is an insight into your mind, into your subconscious.

Yes, Pigmund Freud has spoken and he speaks the truth. Oink de Oink!

#2 Masked Dave

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 12:15 AM

Riiiiiiiiiiiight
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#3 Josh

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 05:07 AM

Thank God!

I never knew that I was gay for the Tales until Pigmund Freud told me so :praise:
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#4 Jentastic!

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 07:35 AM

Oh, Josh, I thought you were only gay for me :(

Dashing pic, Pigmund!
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#5 Schtroumpf

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:43 AM

Well damn.  How am I going to tell my parents?

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#6 Masked Dave

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:48 AM

Come for the Tales, stay for the bumsex.

(Wow, its been a while since the last bumsex gag, we used to do it all the time. Do you not love me anymore?)
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#7 Clearasday

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 02:42 PM

We need to stop him before he starts seeing Oedipal complexes!
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#8 Pigmund Freud

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 10:34 PM

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View PostMasked Dave, on Mar 26 2009, 12:15 AM, said:

Riiiiiiiiiiiight


Oink, you seem sceptical my Masked type Dave friend. Please, lie on my couch and we shall see what we can do to make you realise your true self. To stare into your mind, much like a man stares into a window of the female college dormitory, we shall look at your characters. Hmm, yes, I like rolling around in the details of your characters as much as I like rolling in ze mud! Oink!

Quote

Masked is a very successful assassin

Quote

As a side note, it must be said that so far throughout his many appearances in Marple Mysteries, he has yet to kill anyone.

Hmm, yes. You try to make yourself seem successful and yet, you are not. Clearly, this comes back to hating your father. This is further emphasised by the fact that your father in this case you describe as a "pig-man." Hmm.... very interesting. It is also from your father that you received your so-called "slight-caber." Are we not in fact talk about the penis of penis? Your father gave you a slight penis? Hmm... from the sounds of it you do not feel your father was a real man. A man not worthy of your mother? Hmm... clearly you have some form of Oedipus Complex. Oink!

View PostClearasday, on Mar 26 2009, 02:42 PM, said:

We need to stop him before he starts seeing Oedipal complexes!

How do you like, as you say in your England, them apples?!

Now, back to ze characters!

View PostMasked, on Jan 28 2004, 07:21 PM, said:

Lamento Talukuk

Lamento was an Estate Agent in Hell, City of Dis to be precise and has now found himself in great difficulties as nobody wants a house in hell anymore and dealing with human property owners turns out to be harder than he hoped.

View PostMasked Dave, on May 19 2004, 03:22 PM, said:

Tony Miller

A down on his luck CityXer of Irish decent, dropped out of high school and now works as a Garbage Man (American after all) and spends most of his time proping up a bar. Currently earning some extra cash doing odd jobs for The Man.

View PostMasked Dave, on Nov 2 2004, 08:56 PM, said:

Buzz Taylor

Blacksmith. Gunslinger. Card shark. Ladies man. Buzz Taylor is none of these.

Growing up in the little mountain village the not-that-rough-cut twenty-something has sought desperately to find his place in society and failed at every occassion. It's not that he's particularly bad at anything, he's just not good at anything either. The only thing Buzz ever managed to excell at was being mediocre.

He spends a lot of time in the saloon, he plays cards with his friends, he rides horses, he chases women. He's of medium build, neither short nor tall. Sandy blondish brown hair with greeny-brown eyes that look grey in certain light. Not rich, not poor. Currently employeed as a part-time barman at The Dusty Spitoon, but looking for something better and more exciting. In short, he's average.

Hmm, this is most intriguing. All your characters are failures of men. Failures like a bag of squirrels fails at claiming nuts for the winter as they are tied in a bag. Or a sack. However, I do note a positive progression. You start off Lame. You then move on to being rubbish (why else choose a garbage man, unless you are sponsored by Biffa, in which case you have your finger in a very tasty pie indeed.) However, by the end you are average. I see whatever has held you back in the past you have overcome, much like a dog must overcome the fence if it is to chase the cat that lives by the river. Oink. In fact, most recently you created:

View PostMasked Dave, on Nov 4 2006, 12:12 PM, said:

Terrik Minell
He is not unhappy though, he lives as if his life was an adventure and a party and never thinks too much about the consequences of his actions.

It is clear that you have overcome your self-loaving. It is clear whatever complexes and deep-seated beliefs you had about your inadequacies as a man have been overcome and this is positive. I am also glad to see you embrace the homosexual undercurrent of this webshite, much in the way that Steph embraced Toady once in Neighbours.

A most successful session and I can see you clearly are a prince amongst men. You need no more Masked. You are Dave and have nothing to hide no more, unlike Zoro, that repressed Spanish fruit of a swashbuckler.

Oink!

#9 Masked Dave

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 12:19 AM

I was thinking Dave, now Kramer perhaps?
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#10 Jentastic!

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 07:27 AM

Well, it's somebody who watches Neighbours and I hope to god that narrows down the pool of possibilities.

Also, Dave, do you have a secret longing to be a barman?
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#11 Feet

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 10:25 AM

Just wanted to say that I love this. I could not stop grinning the whole way through reading, my thought process went something like this,

"Pigmund Freud - hehehehe, so silly, so simple, and yet so clever - hehehehe"

I'm easily pleased by word punnage I guess. ¬_¬
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#12 Lu-Tze

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 10:32 AM

Likewise, and whilst I feel I have a fair idea of who has penned this work, I don't want to bother probing that because well, it doesn't matter. It's just awesome.
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#13 Innokenti

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:15 AM

Oh go on Pigmund, I'll humour you.

*lies on Pigmund's couch*
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#14 Insert Name Here

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:18 AM

So is this unrelated to the new Tale, or is it going to star Pigmund?
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#15 Insane Genius

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:35 AM

Maybe Pigmund should analyse every post we make in the new tale?
(\_.._/)
(0 .. 0)
(>.S.<)
...v..v...

SUPER BUNNY Says: Meh

#16 Masked Dave

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:37 AM

I think it depends who the person behind him is.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#17 Feet

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:44 AM

Why?
I still love you

#18 Insert Name Here

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:44 AM

I thought it was fairly obvious who it was...

Although that might be 'cos I was in IRC at the time.
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#19 Masked Dave

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 11:49 AM

View PostFeet, on Mar 27 2009, 11:44 AM, said:

Why?
Well they might not want to.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#20 Josh

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 06:43 PM

I love the person who has done this.
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#21 Innokenti

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 06:43 PM

Hmm... since Josh loves himself so much... I can only conclude that he is the pig-headed psychoanalyst!
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#22 Josh

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 06:45 PM

'Snot me.
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#23 Jentastic!

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 06:50 PM

Don't call Pigmund pig-headed! Pigmund is sexy.
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#24 Innokenti

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 07:06 PM

View PostJosh, on Mar 27 2009, 07:45 PM, said:

'Snout me.

Fixed.
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#25 Pigmund Freud

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Posted 28 March 2009 - 12:14 PM

View Postinnokenti, on Mar 27 2009, 11:15 AM, said:

Oh go on Pigmund, I'll humour you.

*lies on Pigmund's couch*

Oink a willing volunteer on the mysterious couch of truth? Are you sure you can handle the truth that flows from Pigmund's lips like spittle flows from the lips of a llama? Can you handle the truth?! Of course not, it's an intangible concept. Oink! You present an interest challenge, like riding a bicycle presents an interesting challenge to a dinosaur. We need to delve deep into your subconscious to get at the Communist core within. Having grown up behind the iron curtain, getting to the truth is going to be difficult as this kind of thing is frowned upon there. Oink!

Quote

Antonia Pirello (innokenti)

Aged 10 Antonia is the daughter of the family and /the/ sister of her brothers. Very grown up and not alltogether too girlish. But likes to play.
She will likely be traumatised a little throughout her early life as having to sort out other people's problems when they come to her. Eventually she'll end up doing the same sort of thing - comforting and helping her brothers.

A very interesting choice here. Grown up? Not girlish and yet a girl? We shall return to this.

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Sarah "Scary Shaun" Sillich


Sarah Sillich is a curious case of the village because she never really entered the village properly. Travelling around the Old West she got very very very bored after about 3 weeks and decided to settle down. Her job being politics rather than prostitution she had to disguise herself as a bloke just to be able to enter the town and try to take control of it.

A woman disguised as a man? Should we really read too much into the fact that you have two female characters, both of whom don't sound particularly effeminate? You seem to be trying disguise your women as men, like a farmer will disguise his pig as a woman using a mop and a floral dress to get into a barn dance. Such a waste of a good pig. Oink! Now, we need to take into account your history, as if we ignore history then we are doomed to repeat its mistakes, as was shown to us by everyone invading your motherland of Russia. In fact, I think Russia and particularly Communist Russia provides the key here.

Now, I can stand around whilst you lie on my couch fidgetting and I could say that all this, your fixation on women as men, is that you didn't spend long enough at your mother's breast and therefore have always identified more with men. However, I do not think that this is case. I think we have to look at the society you grew up in. The fact that you grew up in a country where this woman is an idol.

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With such manly women is it any wonder you turned out the way you did - an amalgam of repressed homosexuality with a tendancy for cross-dressing? You're just yearning for the days of yore when men were men and women looked like men. You're longing for the days of your childhood. You have moved to the decadent West where women are all flowers and lipsick. Oink!

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But what of your latest character? We saw with my last victim that they had overcome their hangups like a salmon must overcome the waterfall in order to do whatever salmon do up river. Oink. Well, your latest character is even more interesting...

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1st Lieutenant (Army, Tursis Guards, attached to the Imperial Legion) Lucio Portuccio Cristofori.

Imperial born and bred son of Governor Federico Cristofori of Turstis III and Major-General Anna Cristofori. An aristocrat of the old style like his father, he was forced into the army by his mother. He begruges her for it.

Altogether he's really not that bad, but habits of breeding die hard and the military education had not worked the wonders his mother thought it would. Her latests scheme had been to send him to one of the border world squads and learn everything the hard way. Inevitably, and thanks to his father, he has been supplied with many luxuries and is generally resented by those around him, not least his commanding officer Captain Quatermass.

An aristocrat? Created by someone with a Communist upbringing?! Truly this is remarkable and represents the power of glorious, glorious capitalism for which I have to thank for my bank account and dapper little hat. This is you rebelling against your homeland, against your parents, against Stalin. In your own way you are rejecting everything you stood for, which possibly explains why you cling onto such butch women. Obviously you wish you could have been in the aristocracy had they not been purged like a launch sequence in the Alien film. Have no fear though, nurture can defeat nature though I fear to become a member of the aristocracy you may have to marry into it, possibly to this fine filly.

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It's amazing how times change. I wonder what my good friend Leon Trottersky would have to say...

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