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Day 3: Poise, Onus, Ass


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#1 The House

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 06:11 PM

The wind-up cat circled the table twice, complete with a realistic screeching meow, despite the lump of dripping beef attached to its rear axle. The dog watched it intently as it circled, its eyes fixated on the tasty meat as it dripped blood onto the ancient Persian carpet. Finally, the wind-up cat turned towards the drawing room, and the poor dog could take it no more. With a mighty bark, it left its post, scampered to the edge of the table and leapt off in pursuit of the cat.

However, the moment its front paws hit the floor, it keeled over, quite dead.

You stared at the dead mastiff in shock; it seemed to you that the poor hound has fallen prey to some ground-hogging venomous gas, one of such potency that it could fell a burly dog in an instant. You resolved in an instant, in the name of prudence, to keep your head well away from the floor in future.

Meanwhile, the chest had been opened and its contents were being investigated. Some papers and the like can be found within, but also a strange device:

Posted Image

You are sure that its utility will make itself known in the fullness of time.

In the meanwhile, clearing this scudding poisonous gas seems to be a priority. There is some debate as to whether it is of earthly or eldritch origin, but some investigation suggests that it may be localised to the dining room...

Some housekeeping: players may propose up to two (2) solutions per day. Day ends tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.

#2 Jentastic!

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 08:10 PM

Oh, I can't put forward a solution :(

I do hope that you, my companions, will put forward a multitude of exciting solutions to this perpexing situtation. As for myself, I am so horrified by the notion of this noxious substance attempting to pit itself against the might of my person that I find myself struck dumb. However, as I must - as usual - deal with pressing concerns during working hours on the morrow, it is to be hoped that I will be able, at the very least, to cast a vote.
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#3 Clearasday

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 08:17 PM

Poor devil! Mr. Jones' steak proved to be quite the bait. Although, I can't help but think that we've hit a sort of wall. What was the use in the chest business if there's nothing in the old thing that could possibly shed some light on the situation? I don't like the trinket, it's not right. I say we put it back!

And Mr Beckett, your attitude yesterday does not endear me toward you young fellow. Do not dare cast suspicion on one such as I again! You not only befoul my name, but you strike against the Lord, who guides me always. For your information, I was much too busy keeping the candle... to lead us through the darkness. However, the Colonel did not have such an excuse! Surely a military man would have known of the best course of action yesterday? It does not take a candle to see that his silence was suspicious.


(OOC: Fraid I won't be on tomorrow, or on Saturday, will be travelling, so Day 4 will me affected. Sorry, will make up for it tonight)
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#4 Masked Dave

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 09:24 PM

Why bother suggesting multiple solutions when a perfectly decent one has already presented?

In this case however the gas seems reasonably harmless, my socks seem to be quite fine. There must be some valve we can turn off or block up around here and the just open a window to get rid of what remains.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#5 Kramer

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 11:55 PM

[OOC: Josh, do we actually have inventories and stuff or are people just making up what they have got as we go along? This is a fair bit different to the other HHG I was involved in. Are people PMing you a lot with private instructions/ questions or not? Should I be? I don't really know what I'm doing, tbh. Aside from having lots of fun trying to replicate a Southern accent of course _]

#6 Hentzau

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 12:05 AM

I recommend burning the gas off somehow, as demonstrated in the epic documentary "Doctor Who and the Poison Sky". Naturally we will need to contrive some sort of shelter from the resulting conflagration, so I would suggest hiding in a corner behind Optimist, Trilby and Mantis's characters; they have contributed nothing to this escapade so far besides being another trio of mouths to feed... uh... in the event that we get stuck in here on a long term basis, clearly they'll only be another trio of mouths to feed. We could kill them and eat the bodies, but sadly we must sacrifice our precious foodstock in order to circumvent the problem. They will take the full brunt of the flaming inferno, shielding the rest of us with their oh-so-fragile and yet flammable bodies, and then we need only step over the charred remains and into the next room.

#7 Clearasday

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 12:41 AM

NO NO! we can't do that! There's simply no holy ground to bury them! This is an evil, unholy place! We must simply think of something else.
*Yikmo looks down his sleeves for some kind of wind-up machine to salvage the situation and stop the suggested brutality. Unfortunately, being a priest, he doesn't have anything of use*

Wait. Why resort to violence? Surely the Lord has saved us before, and can do so again. We will be delivered to salvation by his hands! The first hazard is the gas. There is simply only one course of action possible. We must pray. I will lead us all in prayer, begging for mercy and deliverance. Hopefully, our penitence will save us in such a predicament. We will of course, have to pray on our knees, which is a problem with the rising hellish gas, but one that can be solved by praying as a congregation upon the top of the grand vestibule. Thereby escaping the gas! Once up there, a few of you can volunteer to sacrifice your part in the most necessary prayer, by searching the walls all along the staircase, every nook and every cranny, to find a secret passage... a secret lever? Or perchance, a trapdoor! Some way of escaping, as the door is most...probably..locked, and this is an ancient house. You must of course check every one individually, brick by brick, measure for measure, and Baumkuchen's your uncle, we're out!

Good luck, I'll be praying for us.
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#8 Clearasday

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 12:43 AM

*Yikmo is now deep in prayer and cannot reply for two days*
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#9 Josh

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 04:30 AM

View PostKramer, on Apr 16 2009, 11:55 PM, said:

[OOC: Josh, do we actually have inventories and stuff or are people just making up what they have got as we go along? This is a fair bit different to the other HHG I was involved in. Are people PMing you a lot with private instructions/ questions or not? Should I be? I don't really know what I'm doing, tbh. Aside from having lots of fun trying to replicate a Southern accent of course _]
No, no, no inventories, just make it up as you go. The doohicky in the chest is a maguffin.
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#10 Jentastic!

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 07:01 AM

Personally, I like violence, and do not see why we should be carrying passengers. I am quite happy to take shelter behind those who have not helped our cause.

Beckett/Henzoo

<edit> Just saw Beckett's comment yesterday that my solutions have had a common theme. Unfortunately, this is true, as I realised after I had posted my second; for only two solutions have I posted so far. For I got rather carried away by this wonderful time and its love of inventions. I can understand Beckett's caution, but can assure you that my next solution will have no clockwork or other inventions of any kind. Do set your mind at rest. I woudl love to do so today, but am unable to do so, as previously discussed.

[OOC: It's bloody hard to spot themes when some people are barely playing. I can only really look at a few people for comparison, and I don't imagine there were many ghosts made at the start of the game. If one of them is an inactive, I will be peeved. I shall attempt this evening to make a longer post with cunning plans and devilish insights.]
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#11 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 12:21 PM

*poof*

Ah, where am I. I think Yikmo has been praying to the wrong God. Great Jim said to me, he said, "they're about to start a fire down there without proper tribute, go crack some skulls". He's an old-fashioned God but that's fire for you, it never moves with the times.

Gentlemen, gentlewomen, gentledeaddogs. I cannot help but feel it would end badly for me were we to engulf the room in flames, or any room, or even an unspecified location on the moon. Therefore I propose instead that we instead create a sort of poison gas vortex. With the use of fans, bits of cardboard, whatever, we can compress the gas to a smaller space and keep doing that until it can be safely stored in a handy jar in case of emergency.
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#12 Hentzau

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 12:23 PM

Ah, thank god you've arrived, we can use you flaming sword to ignite the gas. Hope it has an on/off switch.

#13 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 12:43 PM

Dude you can't just turn divine power on and off. Unless you can orchestrate some large-scale swings in belief on command.
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#14 Hentzau

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 01:58 PM

Shouldn't be too hard. Once the population of the world finds out that you're the chosen representative of their divine agency I suspect the belief level may experience a sudden catastrophic downturn.

#15 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 02:18 PM

Man! Don't expect my blessing to be bestowed upon your suggestion. How are you going to use fire if the avatar of the God of things being set on fire does not endorse it.
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#16 Masked Dave

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 03:08 PM

We could try setting him on fire. See what happens.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#17 Hentzau

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 04:35 PM

Oh christ deadline. If I must vote, it's going to be for that leader of that fraudulent religious cult, Inflammable Jim. I trusteth not the other person who has put forward a solution and anyway he's buggered off.

#18 Kramer

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 04:38 PM

I don't like your tone Beckett, you's sayin' we oughtta kill people now? I'm a startin' a get a bit sick o' ya low down theivin' ways mister, you seems awfully keen to do the devil's work. I ain't no heel I tells ya. You better watch it cos I ain't standin' for no heel play. You'll be gettin' a piledriver if you keeps on. Yikmo Ellington.

#19 The House

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Posted 17 April 2009 - 05:00 PM

THE HOUSE COMMANDS YOU TO BE STILL.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.