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Day 1 - Breads


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#1 Josh

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 08:52 PM

Chipping Crudbury doesn't have a wikipedia article, but if it did it would probably go a bit like this:

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Chipping Crudbury is a village (population 1405 [citation needed]) on the River Crudders, west of Hawkness, in the English county of Haxonshire.

Chipping Crudbury was a place of note even when the Domesday Book was compiled. For 250 years it was a centre of the malting industry. Many Haxonshire skiffs (trading ships) were built here.

Between 1779 and 1912, it was possible to navigate the River Crudders all the way to Pottersden, but now the limit of navigation for powered craft is just south of of the town.

The nearby RAF Crudbury played an important role during World War II, and afterwards, but was finally closed in December 2006. The site is now home to a prison.

Pottersden watermill on the Crudbury-Pottersden river border was one of the most photographed mills in the county until it burned down in 1963.

What the wikipedia article can't tell you, though, is that the annual bake-off and produce competition is an occasion for fierce rivalry. Every year, stony hatchet-faced old Mrs Buxton laid out a series of trestle tables in the church yard, and the villiagers trooped out in whatever weather the Haxondale spring could throw at them to show off their produce.

The competition was divided into a number of rounds. The first, by convention, was the bread round. and Mrs Buxton was a harsh judge. One by one, each staff of life was appraised, tasted and judged, with the vast majority getting a kind word of praise, a pointed suggestion for improvement and a swift exit from the competition.

At last there were only thirteen breads judged to be worthy of the next round. Mrs Buxton gathered her amateur bakers around her.

"Team, I don't like to say this," she began, "but one among you is an evil baker."

"Gasp!"

"Yes, that's right," she continued, "One of you turned in a loaf which was, while highly competent and satisfactory, nevertheless... Well. It was a mushroom and apricot loaf, and I just have no idea why anyone would do such a thing..."

The thirteen contenders looked at each other, aghast.

"So I have to let it through on the merits," she said, "But I want you to take turns tasting each others' produce as the rounds go by, and at the end of each round, tell me who the evil bakers are with their funny ideas about how flavours and ingredients work. I won't stand for it! Chipping Crudbury is a traditional town, we even have a Tory MP. Get to work, you lot. The next round is cupcakes and I expect work only of the highest quality."

Day 1 will end tomorrow at 9pm.
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#2 Hey Kidz

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 08:58 PM

Attached File  France_Positive_that_Al_Qaeda_Responsible_for_Niger_kidnapping.jpg   105.86K   2 downloads

So after consulting my diagram, I have to conclude, Retracted - Mr Trilby.

#3 Hey Kidz

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:05 PM

Pff, that was a high quality first post and you're all sitting there like lemons.

#4 Fat Zombie

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:08 PM

Hm.

Retracted-Oppy. Based on the fact that I don't know who that is and I fear the unknown.

#5 Insert Name Here

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:08 PM

I think it would be funny if Kramer got lynched first. I hope he stops his baby talk now he's got what he wants, otherwise I might be forced to vote for him...
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#6 Hey Kidz

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:09 PM

Actually, word on the IRC grape vine is that Retracted - Kramer thinks he is too good to post on day 1.

#7 Kramer

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:18 PM

Curse you god for making me this way!

retracted, was Fat Zombie

#8 Girdag

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:19 PM

RETRACTED: WAS Insert Name Here, for being the first to post but not vote.
Janek: Hentzau's cold heart is so unfeeling that the only approximation he has of happiness is underage Japanese hookers.

#9 Optimist

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:21 PM

Kidz made a diagram.

Only wolves make diagrams.

Therefore Kidz iz wolf.

Hello Children.


#10 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:24 PM

I concur with Girdag

retracted
- Was INH
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
Jentastic: THAT'S RIGHT, I like double entry
<@Strudel> How big's your dongle Kramer?
only about 2 inches :(

#11 Insert Name Here

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:28 PM

I guess I'll go with the diagram theory: retracted, was Kidz.
the internet was discovered when an internet fell out of a tree and hit lord isaac internet on the head

#12 Fat Zombie

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:33 PM

It turns out I know who Oppy is. At least, I recognise the avatar.

So, INH. Because my character was called into question on IRC. I will not let such insults stand! And also apparently INH is being suspicious or something.

#13 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:42 PM

All I was saying was that he just looked a bit shifty.
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
Jentastic: THAT'S RIGHT, I like double entry
<@Strudel> How big's your dongle Kramer?
only about 2 inches :(

#14 Fat Zombie

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:44 PM

Shut up! Stop making me look bad!

#15 Kramer

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:46 PM

I wonder if Strudel is trying to set up FZ as a fall guy here.

#16 Optimist

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:56 PM

Strudel is always doing something to someone. We should probably lynch him, just to be safe.

#17 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:07 PM

But I'm always not doing something to someone else as well; maybe that's who you should be focussing on.
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
Jentastic: THAT'S RIGHT, I like double entry
<@Strudel> How big's your dongle Kramer?
only about 2 inches :(

#18 Girdag

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:11 PM

IRC doesn't work on my work computer. I feel left out :(
Janek: Hentzau's cold heart is so unfeeling that the only approximation he has of happiness is underage Japanese hookers.

#19 Hey Kidz

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:13 PM

View PostInsert Name Here, on Feb 17 2011, 09:28 PM, said:

I guess I'll go with the diagram theory: Kidz.

Oh, so you think terrorism is OK then?

#20 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:14 PM

View PostGirdag, on Feb 17 2011, 10:11 PM, said:

IRC doesn't work on my work computer. I feel left out :(

Have you tried the Live Chat function in the title bar?
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
Jentastic: THAT'S RIGHT, I like double entry
<@Strudel> How big's your dongle Kramer?
only about 2 inches :(

#21 Girdag

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:15 PM

Yeah, the work computers raise some kind of security exception.

Possibly a good thing, seeing as I'm meant to be working, tbh.
Janek: Hentzau's cold heart is so unfeeling that the only approximation he has of happiness is underage Japanese hookers.

#22 Hey Kidz

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:37 PM

I better vote for Retracted - INH to save myself. Plus I think the arguments detailed against him are easily the best this far.

#23 Insert Name Here

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:38 PM

4 votes already? Smells like a bandwagon to me!
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#24 Hey Kidz

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 10:42 PM

Well u smel liek a wulf.

#25 Kramer

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 11:09 PM

I think we should systematically vote off inactives until they post. Zael, Trilby, "The Captain", Ophelia and so on. Post or die. Post or die! POST OR DIE.