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Day Five: Just Like A Prayer


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#1 The House

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Posted 11 August 2009 - 08:58 PM

A party! What better event to while away the stresses and strains of this tumultuous and stressful occasion?

The House is offended by your frivolity. Unspeakable horror from the nether beyond is serious business! In a fit of high dudgeon, it collapses the rest of the corridor, sending your "party" into the torrent of the waterfall and the depths below.

---

When you finally come to, you find yourself in a deep cellar. It is clear from the regalia of the room that this is the building's chapel; although the underground room has no stained glass windows, it still has swathes of moulding brocade and many valuable-looking ornaments, including a large gold and silver-plated cross.  The waterfall has plunged through the wooden ceiling but the stone floor proved to be too much for it; fortunately for you, the water is draining out via a ruptured sewage pipe to the south.

There is only one door - to the north - and it is closed, and at this you discover a problem that needs your solving. It seems that most of you have shrunk in the wash. Following your plunge, nine of you are now less than six inches tall, and talk like you have been sucking helium. The tenth is Heisenberg Cat, who, being mostly made of fur, has expanded to over eight feet.

Most of you can't reach the handle, and the one who can can't fit though the door. (Also, doesn't have thumbs.)

To further complicate matters, a note that fell down with you details one player's suspicions and plans for an exorcism. The target appears to be Philbert Julian Cadweller (Kramer).

Quote

With "You are my white knight and I am your white rabbit" on day one, and "it's all right for you to sit there grinning like a Cheshire Cat" on day three, clearly something Carrollian is afoot.

Despite being in the temple, you agree that too precipitous an action could have disastrous consequences, and resolve to put the accusation to a vote.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.

#2 Lu-Tze

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Posted 11 August 2009 - 09:37 PM

Certainly I concur that the Day One reference feels somewhat forced, and Day Three falls in line. With no evidence yesterday, there is only Day Two left to support the idea...

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The Master's Bedroom

Philbert was now awake. He whispered something to Cybil, who then clapped her hands for attention.

"Master Cadweller has an announcement to make. He would like silence before he speaks, thank you"

The bewildered group looked on as the pampered 22-year old climbed onto the bed as if it was a podium and proceeded to make his pronouncement:

"First, since I bear the Cadweller name, and since I am the most important person here, I lay claim to this bedroom as my own. Now I'm here, this shall be the place where I rest for the duration of our stay. Cybil shall sleep on the floor.

Second, I have a plan. Cybil carries with her everywhere her standard-issue "Essential Maid's Kit", which has in it, among other things, a great deal of thread. I propose that you eight people (and one cat) should nominate between you two volunteers to explore the two paths. Using the thread, each of the volunteers shall be tied to the bed: each volunteer can then, in relative safety, scout the two available paths for danger and report back to the group. You may stay here, in my bedroom, until we can discern the correct route, but after that time access to this room will be prohibited. Thank you."

Cybil started clapping, she then gave a withering stare to everyone else to follow suit. They also felt compelled to give applause, although no-one had a clear sense of why they were doing it. Philbert bowed and then waited for Cybil to come over to him to help him get down from the bed (by getting on her hands and knees and letting him use her back and a step). He seemed to be very pleased with himself and could scarcely hide a smile from creeping over his face. He whispered to his maid, "I told them Cybil, didn't I?", "You were brilliant Master Cadweller, the girls would have been proud of you", "Oh do you think so, Cybil? Do you really think so?" "You are a master of oratory, sir, you shouldn't be so surprised". Philbert beamed as Cybil took a quick look at the time.

Unfortunately, I find nothing to support the theory in here. I've reread it 5/6 times over now, and nothing seems to spring out at me. If Kramer has alluded to some Carrollian piece of trivia in his Day Two suggestion, then I am unable to spot it.
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#3 Jentastic!

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 06:20 AM

Intriguing. Another potential theme, and I like the Lewis Carroll idea. Again, I don't really see anything as strong in day two. Perhaps the strongest reference there would be Cybil checking the time: which is, after all, what the white rabbit does constantly, so would have an 'Alice in Wonderland' sort of flavour, without being as explicit. That doesn't seem entirely implausible. It would also be quite canny to mix up the two really obvious references with something a mite more subtle, to throw people off track. What do people think?
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#4 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 07:35 AM

I'm not sure. I think the White Rabbit does constantly repeat the phrase "Look at the time!" which is how the post ends, but given the more explicit references in the other posts, I'm not sure it isn't just coincidence. I need to read over it a bit more, but Kramer's posts do seem quite "Carollian". Certainly Master Cadweller does share some traits with Alice.
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
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<@Strudel> How big's your dongle Kramer?
only about 2 inches :(

#5 Schtroumpf

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 07:35 AM

View PostJentastic!, on Aug 12 2009, 07:20 AM, said:

Perhaps the strongest reference there would be Cybil checking the time: which is, after all, what the white rabbit does constantly, so would have an 'Alice in Wonderland' sort of flavour.
I'd go with that, yeah.  I didn't notice it until you pointed it out but now I can see it, it does seem a bit forced.  Why is she checking the time?  Seems a bit random if it's not part of a theme.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#6 Masked Dave

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:23 AM

Where's the reference in Day 4 then?

Quote

Philbert was in the midst of a massive tantrum.

"Not once, not twice, but THREE days in a row, no one has voted for any of my solutions -- despite the fact that they are the best solutions and that I am master of oratory. That's it Cybil. From now on I'm not talking to you or anyone else ... and I'm not listening either!" Tiredly Cybil tried to muster some enthusiasm to indulge him but she couldn't do it. She had been used to taking Philbert on outings many times but never had to endure him for longer than a few hours. She was caught between resenting the fact that a young man who was three years older than her was such a pathetic wretch and so dependent on her, resenting the other maids for getting away with not having to come on such outings and genuinely wondering about what to do next. These were mingled with thoughts about quitting her job. But what options were open to a young Victorian maid in Victorian times who had no skills outside of housekeeping? She sighed,

"Master Cadwaller, maybe if we just go along with the others for a while and in a few days they might listen to you. We're not part of the group and, well, wouldn't you feel safer if the others thought of you as one of them as well?"

Philbert was despondent. He turned his head away from her in disgust and muttered under his breath, "nothing but a peasant anyway". He buried his head in his arms.

Cybil bit her lip. "Well if you're not going to make an effort, sir... I will." Philbert didn't move a muscle, but as Cybil headed toward the rest of the group he peeked a glance from under his elbow.

As Cybil talked and joked with the others (and gave her support to what any maid would, the practical solution), Philbert looked on feeling abandoned and sorry for himself. He began to weep quietly.

"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#7 Schtroumpf

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:23 AM

He didn't post a solution on day four.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#8 Masked Dave

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:25 AM

Oh yeah.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#9 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:28 AM

The Queen throws a few tantrums doesn't she? Seems like a bit of a jump though. And yeah, it wasn't actually a solution.
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
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<@Strudel> How big's your dongle Kramer?
only about 2 inches :(

#10 Masked Dave

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:32 AM

Yeah, just seemed like a lot of waffle to post to actually do nothing, got me confused.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#11 Josh

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 09:19 AM

To clear up an ambiguity: solutions and the voting thereof is still a go for today, along with the exorcism vote.
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#12 Leafcutter

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 09:52 AM

Interesting, interesting... never read any Carroll myself... children's books, you know... all very clever, but applied to such fanciful characters... in fact my novel addresses many of the same themes, but in a... but we have no time for... clearly something is amiss with Master Philbert... did have some concerns over his behaviour... particularly the ostentatious and distracting tantrum... the Cadweller lineage may well have some sway over him... house of his ancestors... I support this exorcism. As for our current predicament, I begin to wonder...

Cattering Ram

Six inches tall... what nonsense... must be some trick of perspective... walls and floor angled towards the door... outsized props... this brocade is clearly stitched from dockyard rope... possibly baffled acoustics affecting our voices... either that or some sort of hidden recording device in the... surely these can't really be gold, at that scale...

I can't understand why our feline friend has... in such a short space of... perhaps this is some side-effect of our earlier... or perhaps this is just another cat that has similar markings... hard to be sure with the waterlogged fur... poor thing doubtless wishes to escape the water... perhaps the creature could be encouraged to smash the door down allowing us to escape and seek help... perhaps a rope from above... judging by the rot and mould... rest of the room... I'd imagine the hinges were long since... if not the doorframe itself...

#13 Schtroumpf

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 10:39 AM

The catapult method

Right, clearly this water has some sort of other worldy properties in it if has shrunk us.  I feel that by simply drying off, the magic will wear off and we'll return to normal.  To do this we must first get out of this room.  We can make a catapult out of the cross by balancing it over something and place the large cat on one side.  If everyone could stand by me at this side we shall jump onto it and fling the cat through the door and we can make our escape.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#14 Hentzau

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:09 PM

I'm fairly sure the Kramer thing is coincidence. I've been a human and had people call out my posts for some imaginary theme. I've been a ghost and had people call out my posts, not for the theme I was given, but for another entirely coincidental one. If he's a ghost, I doubt it's because of something as inconsistent as what's been pointed out; Josh is usually quite specific on what you can and cannot include in your posts, so I doubt he'd have as much latitude in implementing the Carollian theme as he's displayed in here.

#15 Josh

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:11 PM

If you disagree with the exorcism you should still indicate some sort of against vote, in bold, please :)

Not aimed at you Hent as it's not clear that you've totally made up your mind. Jus' sayin'.

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#16 Schtroumpf

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:22 PM

It would be handy if Kramer would actually comment on it.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#17 Hentzau

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:25 PM

I retract.

#18 Hentzau

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:50 PM

Cat is the pult and not the pultee.

Okay so. Contrary to what the House says, I can actually fit through the door, as proven by this photographic evidence.

Posted Image

So the only problem remaining is getting it open. For this, I propose flinging the tiny mice-like people up onto the door handle using my tail. (If one or two of them disappear during this process then it isn't because I was feeling peckish.) Their combined weight will eventually cause the handle to turn, at which point it will be trivial for me to push the door open with my nose allowing us to escape.

#19 Josh

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:33 PM

Jenny can't get online, so the following is on her behalf:

Eat your spinach

The answer is obvious, isn't it? In order to grow big and strong, people have to eat their vegetables. I hear that spinach is particularly good. Unfortunately, I don't have any of that. But I do have a nice bag of carrot sticks with enough for everybody. I'll pass them around equally and in no time we will be our normal sizes! Good nutrition is so important, you know. As for Heisenberg Cat, I think we should leave him as he is. Doors aren't a problem: he can crash through walls if need be. And now we have a fearsome opponent if we bump into any creatures that go bump in the night. Also, we can ride around on him and go "Wheeeeeeeee!"
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#20 Kramer

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:07 PM

Eat Me

As the party rumbled on, Philbert sat alone. Cybil was intergrating with the group and seemed to be having a good time. "They are talking about me", said Philbert to himself dejectedly, "but they don't understand ..." Philbert drifted into a soft song as if a string quartet had started playing:

"# People think it's easy being me
'It's a hard life for the poor', they say,
'You can't be gay and fancy free
When you're in the Workhouse every day'
But what I would give to be one of them
Laughing and joking as I toiled
What I would give to have one friend
who sees me for more than being spoiled.
To share with me what I have seen
And listen to the places I've in
In my miiiiiinnnnd.

Oh I've tasted paprika
And Mexican beans!
I've been all the way to Africa
And I have met the Queen!
In my miiiiinnnnd"

He stopped. "What are they saying about me anyway? Lewis Carroll? Proposterous! For a start, if I know Cybil, she checked her watch because she was bored of me going on like I do. It would be a bit tenuous to mention checking the time without explicitly saying 'I'm Late' to give it a context. That's a clear reason to vote against the exorcism".

-------

After the events outlined here Philbert was back with the others. He found Cybil and ran to her.

"Oh Cybil, I'm so sorry. I should never have spoken to you like that ..." He looked sheepish "I might not be yours ... but you're my best friend. I've been horrible". Cybil turned to face him. Philbert continued, "as long as you cut down on the back chat and do as I say, I'll play the game as you want: make an effort to integrate with others and try to fit in a bit more. Deal?" Philbert looked at her with open eyes, his heart started beating. "Of course master", said Cybil, "deal". They embraced.

"So what should we do about this predicatment?", asked Philbert

"It's obvious, sir" said Cybil softly, "let's just eat these cakes marked Eat Me I've got, oh and this mushroom with a talking caterpiller on it". Philbert laughed, he was just glad to have her back, he felt safe again.

#21 Masked Dave

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:20 PM

HE IZ FOOLING NO-ONE!

Voting for exorcism
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#22 Schtroumpf

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:45 PM

Yur, I'm voting for exorcism too.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#23 Scuzz

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:51 PM

I too shall vote that we all get some exorcise.
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#24 Leafcutter

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:58 PM

How disturbing... clearly the fall has affected a few people's faculties... perhaps this was all some misunderstanding... better to be safe than sorry... no better place for an exorcism... some small luck there... perhaps both of them are...

But on a balance of safety and delusional behaviour... at least some of this must be real... think we can trust the creature... I vote for "Cat is the pult and not the pultee."

#25 Hentzau

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 04:21 PM

Yeah I'm now changing my vote to exorcism.