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Day Two: All Along The Watchtower


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#1 The House

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Posted 07 August 2009 - 08:55 PM

The group followed Goatpunch nervously to the shed, the equine whinnying setting many hackles on edge. Silently, they crammed themselves into the confines of the small shed and nervously doused their lights.

Goatpunch hefted a pair of secateurs and, a grim look of determination in his eyes, went back out into the night.

There was a long pause, and in the black of night, hearing and imagination did their work. The soft crunch of Goatpunch's footsteps receding; the clank of metal on metal as the secateurs sliced through the vines; a piercing shriek as the gardener found himself nose-to-muzzle with a starving crazy thoroughbred. The snapping and twisting of foliage detailing a mad-cap scramble of a man to the safety of a toolshed pursued by a herd of stallions.

Then, silence, interrupted only by the occasional snort as the horses drew themselves into a circle around the group's position.

"We appear," speculated Hardly Dickens idly, "to be doomed."

"Not so fast," said Goatpunch. "The wall be just over there, and I do believe that behind young maaaaster Cadwaller over there is a 40ft ladder. I reckon we can balance the ladder on the roof, bridge over to the wall and be in the mansion in no time."

And so, an odd procession played out. In single file, the party clambered up to the roof, balanced their way over to the wall, scurried around the wall to a large, conveniently-placed tree, then in to the house via a second-floor window, to safety...

Or so they thought!

Guest bedroom

You find yourself in a guest bedroom. A large four-poster bed is the centrepiece, although a baroque wardrobe with a full-length mirror is also a major feature.  You have entered through the window to the east; doors exist to the north and west.

As you enter the room, a statue of Buddha on the bedside table begins to chatter. "If you go through the door to the north," it says, "you will meet certain doom!"

From the other nightstand, a statue of Kali also begins to babble. "Ignore him! The real doom lies to the west or something!"

What do you do?
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.

#2 Hentzau

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Posted 07 August 2009 - 09:43 PM

"If I were to ask the statue of Buddha which door was the non-doom door, what would his answer be?"

#3 Josh

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Posted 08 August 2009 - 07:58 AM

Forgot to mention: the day ends tomorrow (Sunday) at 9.30pm.
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#4 Kramer

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Posted 08 August 2009 - 01:20 PM

The Master's Bedroom

Philbert was now awake. He whispered something to Cybil, who then clapped her hands for attention.

"Master Cadweller has an announcement to make. He would like silence before he speaks, thank you"

The bewildered group looked on as the pampered 22-year old climbed onto the bed as if it was a podium and proceeded to make his pronouncement:

"First, since I bear the Cadweller name, and since I am the most important person here, I lay claim to this bedroom as my own. Now I'm here, this shall be the place where I rest for the duration of our stay. Cybil shall sleep on the floor.

Second, I have a plan. Cybil carries with her everywhere her standard-issue "Essential Maid's Kit", which has in it, among other things, a great deal of thread. I propose that you eight people (and one cat) should nominate between you two volunteers to explore the two paths. Using the thread, each of the volunteers shall be tied to the bed: each volunteer can then, in relative safety, scout the two available paths for danger and report back to the group. You may stay here, in my bedroom, until we can discern the correct route, but after that time access to this room will be prohibited. Thank you."

Cybil started clapping, she then gave a withering stare to everyone else to follow suit. They also felt compelled to give applause, although no-one had a clear sense of why they were doing it. Philbert bowed and then waited for Cybil to come over to him to help him get down from the bed (by getting on her hands and knees and letting him use her back and a step). He seemed to be very pleased with himself and could scarcely hide a smile from creeping over his face. He whispered to his maid, "I told them Cybil, didn't I?", "You were brilliant Master Cadweller, the girls would have been proud of you", "Oh do you think so, Cybil? Do you really think so?" "You are a master of oratory, sir, you shouldn't be so surprised". Philbert beamed as Cybil took a quick look at the time.

#5 Schtroumpf

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Posted 08 August 2009 - 01:22 PM

I call this the David Frost Method.  I shall look through both keyholes to see what's on the other side.  We should be able to see the 'certain doom' and can then exit through the safe door.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#6 Lu-Tze

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Posted 08 August 2009 - 05:59 PM

Odd one out

Just look at these candlesticks on the wall! Undoubtedly the work of Calamitous Thurson, the famous metalworking artist! A set of 7 like this would fetch a truly incredible price at auction if you got a couple of collectors in.

"But Ben" I hear you say "There are 8 candlesticks on the wall"

Correct and observant you would be, but the 8th one next to the bookcase is not an original, but a cheap knockoff. And it is here we may find the solution to our predicament. I believe that a quick pull on it will reveal a secret passage and alternative exit strategy.
Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est

#7 Scuzz

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 10:59 AM

The Village People

Kali doesn't seem so sure of where the real doom actually is and Buddha said that certain doom was to the North so I suggest that we go west.
"I've been disappointed with the boobs so far this season." - Masked Dave

#8 Jentastic!

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 02:11 PM

Compass of Truth

Well, during my travels as a child prodigy, I went to many places of great danger. I then considered it prudent to invest in this marvellous compass. On its face it has the words "Certain Doom". If we point it, we can see that Certain Doom surely lies to the west. Therefore, the compass tells us that we need to go north! Such wonders that can be achieved with technology, it makes me weep almost as much as Beethoven's Pathétique.
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#9 Hentzau

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 02:38 PM

Mutually Exclusive Doom.

As Heisenberg Cat knows through many years of bitter experience, the doom will exist in an indeterminate state of flux until the doors are opened and the doom waveform is collapsed. Therefore if both doors are opened at exactly the same time, the doom will have to exist behind either both doors or neither; and since the doom cannot be in two places at once it must therefore default to neither*.

*Yes I know this actually contravenes quantum theory shut up.

#10 Schtroumpf

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 04:22 PM

I'm going to vote for Retracted(Was The Village People).  This means I can dress up as the Indian and do a routine on Children In Need with other news readers.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#11 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 04:44 PM

Vote Odd One Out

As for myself, I propose You call this doom?!. We seem very keen to avoid this doom without understanding what it entails. They called me doomed back in Budapest, back when I took on the big gangs as a gritty detective. You heard of the Driskól Brothers? Yeah, they lived on a caravan site, reponsible for about a third of Csongrád's identity theft. Additionally, they sold pirated DVDs. Well let me tell you, I shut them down, and I didn't have to think about it, I just charged in and kicked one of them in the face. We can do the same here. Open that door and let me tell you, it'll be the one that's doomed.
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#12 Leafcutter

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 04:52 PM

All Death Is Certain

Interesting, interesting, now this is more like it... must be one of the Musgrave rooms... all closed off now, of course... original architect either ended up in Bedlam, or was hired from it... panelled floor, probably a pressure sensor... wax cylinders, very dusty now, may not have given us entire message... Buddha and Kali clearly seen as rival theologies... Musgrave very literal minded... contrast of attitudes to destruction... acceptance and ascendance, or oblivion... all death is certain, yes, but not all is real... obvious that all of us will die in due course, however we leave this room... likely connected to further voice mechanisms behind the door... entered from the east, don't remember seeing a window to the north... would probably be corridors either way... dark, of course... moon in the east... manor would have been gaslit... designed to catch out intruders who would have own light source anyway... shouldn't get sidetracked... will definitely use this in the book... so, er... shall we draw straws and send someone through the north door?

(And I'll vote for the Compass of Truth, which seems to be in concordance with my findings.)

#13 Schtroumpf

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 04:59 PM

My investigative journalism sense is tingling.  I've noticed that both of Benjamin Foggler's(Lu) solutions have mentioned selling things and the good Dr. Nézbok(Jim) has mentioned hitting things in the face both times.  This may well merely be the way they conduct themselves day to day but I shall be paying close attention to their next solutions.

Don't make me do a Panorama special, 'cause I will.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#14 Jentastic!

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 05:24 PM

Smurf, is it wise to vote for Scuzz's solution again, after he won yesterday? After all, if he isn't a starting ghost then he'll become a prime target for turning if he amasses lots of points early on in the game.

<edit> Vote for You call this doom? I like the cut of this man's jib.
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#15 Schtroumpf

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 05:37 PM

That's a fair point, I didn't think of checking who actually won yesterday.

I shall vote for Compass of Truth then.  Although I'm stilling dressing up as one of the people from The Village People.

"The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."


#16 Scuzz

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 05:42 PM

I think I shall vote for The David Frost Method as it will give us the opportunity to take a peek at whether or not there is anything noticably doomly in whatever lays behind the doors. Simple plans tend not to go too wrong.
"I've been disappointed with the boobs so far this season." - Masked Dave

#17 Lu-Tze

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 06:32 PM

I believe that Mutually Exclusive Doom is our best option.
Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est

#18 Masked Dave

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 07:05 PM

I suggest the Duck and Cover method. We open both doors at the same time and duck! Whatever doom there is will surely fly straight from one to the other, allowing us to close that door and proceed through the other one.

I'm going to vote for Odd One Out, because it sounds fun.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#19 Strudel the Dancing Pastry

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 07:45 PM

I'm sorry, I've been distracted by the wonderful bifurcations in that tree over there. I think The David Frost Method is our best chance.
Spins and turns, angles and curves. The shape of dreams, half remembered. Slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of perfection - a perfect face, perfect lace.
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only about 2 inches :(

#20 Hentzau

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 07:45 PM

Let's make this interesting. I'm voting for Compass of Truth.

Mew.

#21 The House

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Posted 09 August 2009 - 08:30 PM

Cease.

Night orders to me by 10pm, please.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.