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Day 5: Abearndon hope


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#1 The House

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 06:08 PM

"I want to see you shimmying, okay," said Jim Jones as a few of their number practised in the hallway. "Just shimmy, okay. Shimmy. Shimmy. Just shimmy. Just like that, okay. Shimmy."

"Does your plan," asked Lady Blanche archly, "consist of simply saying shimmy over and over again?"

"Shimmying. Yes ma'am. Just shimmy. Shimmy. Okay let's go."

With that, he started into the drawing room, dragging the rest of the party - who were tied to him by the hand - along with them. "Shimmy," he muttered to himself. "Shimmy, Jim Jones, just shimmy. Alright."

The moment he set foot over the threshhold, the vortex yanked him up, spun him around the room and sucked him in, dragging the rest of the part with him. Evidently, vortexes are not easily impressed by shimmying techniques.

---

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After a brief and painful ride through heaven only knows what manner of infernal dimension, you are disgorged in what appears to be a library. Weather sounds and architectural themes suggest that you are in the same building, although where in relation to the vortex that swallowed you is unclear. A book, presumably swallowed by the vortex in the dining room, is spat out in mid-air and hits Ellington ungraciously on the side of the head.

There is a problem in this room, however, and that problem is that a large brown bear appears to be asleep in front of the south door. How will you escape the room without inciting the wrath of one of nature's deadliest mammals?
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.

#2 Jentastic!

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 06:14 PM

Hmmm. I believe I have an inkling of what to do in this situation. I am sure that there is a point on the bear - right here, look - where one can pacify it through the medium of extensive tickling. Therefore, I would like to suggest that somebody approach the bear carefully, and then tickle it in its tickle-place, until it is fully pacified and docile, and will move where we bid it. Perhaps we can even bring it with us, to fight off any ghost we may come across.
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#3 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 06:15 PM

Now when you say "someone"...
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#4 Jentastic!

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 06:17 PM

Ah, a volunteer!
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#5 Masked Dave

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 06:35 PM

I find wild animals always dislike both fire and loud noises, since we have a man with a flaming sword and an American in our midst we should find both easy to produce.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#6 Clearasday

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 09:33 PM

I shall suggest a small solution, containing no references to light or dark then mi'lady, in the hope that you would look on me as a friend then, rather than with suspicion, which, in my experience, is the poison that very quickly corrodes the flock.

* winces from the book that has hit him, but his gaze does not leave the cover*

I've got it.
This book that but a moment ago the tempest spat at me is The Tales of Robin Hood. By coincidence it is one of my favourite books, and I am loathe to treat it unkindly, but fear I must. I will tear the pages out, and quietly stuff them into the bear's very large ears, thus muffling our escape. What say you?
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#7 Kramer

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 09:37 PM

Now y'all fellas didn' listen to my plan, you was meant to tie yourself to the door so we wouldn't fall in! Shimmyin's no good if ya don't tie down to base! Man that thing was scarier than a twister down in Dallas, gave me the heebie jeebies. Just happy to still be on the good green earth.

Well butter my biscuit, say now a grizzly! I learned all bout em from my pa's time in Wisconsin and then more recent when I went up to the Tri-State area. While he's asleep I could go get 'im in the cobra clutch! Ain't no gettin' up from that, not even no bear go'n do it. I keep him in that, he ain't got no way of gettin' out, you fellas and gals slide on through that there door, then when I'm sure he's out cold, I'll tie him up and follow on through.

Unless anyone's got any better ideas. That Inflammable Jim fella there looks like he'd be a dab hand at dealin' with a bear.

#8 Clearasday

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Posted 19 April 2009 - 09:57 PM

Mr Jones, hasn't the pandemonium of that wild ride put you off your dangerous ventures at all? That could have been the last of you! I will not back any further solutions that involve you risking your person, and the rest of us.

Which is why I'm inclined to follow the good colonel's proposal. I know next to nothing of bears. However, the confidence of the colonel, and my belief that simply frightening the bear away (much like a wild critter in the bell-tower at home) is vastly better than engaging it via pacification, or paralysis my dear Lady, and Good Sir Jones, is enough to convince me to put my stock in the suggestion of Colonel Radish/Masked Dave
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#9 Jentastic!

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 06:33 AM

Wah, I won't be back before the deadline again. Quick vote for Clearasday. I don't think angering the bear is the solution, and I have little faith in Jim Jones' ability to knock out a bear. Although once I am nervous about climbing over a bear even when he cannot hear our inevitable escape, it appear to be the best option.
Existentialism? Don't even get me Sartred.

#10 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 08:58 AM

Now I'm not too sure I approve of any plan that involves using me to pacify the bear in some way. For starters this does not show proper respect for the God of setting things on fire or his chosen representative on earth. Nor am I enamoured of short suggestions as I believe they show weakness of inspiration and if the past day has shown me anything, it is that we will need most of all. To that end I support Yikmo's scheme.

My own scheme is to rely on the mortality of the bear. At some point it must die. I suggest we wait out the ages in these rooms of tomes, watching it turn from brown to grey, perhaps it will raise a family and perhaps it will take us under its wing. There is no need for violence here when we could outlast the bear - if we reference an encyclopedia in this library we should find its lifespan to be a mere thirty years, allowing you humans to continue living for another twenty or thirty years after the deed is accomplished. And that's assuming it's a young bear, it could be an ancient thing about to pass on.
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#11 The House

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:52 AM

The bear looks spry but the deep, tonal snores suggest that it is middle-aged at best.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.

#12 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 10:13 AM

Right, so that's ten, fifteen years tops. I mean I'm an avatar so I won't even age, it's win-win.
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#13 Kramer

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 11:00 AM

While we is watin' gals and fellas, I'm a goin' do a lil fishin'. What am I tryin'a catch? Red Herrin's! That's what, wanna catch me some kippers, slippery (h)eels. Why thems dawg-gone ghosts is slicker than a chased greased hog.  Why I never been in no pickle like this 'n' all my born days.

Jim Jones sits and pretends to fish

I'm a puttin' that there bait on that ollllllllldd hook now. What do Red Herrin' eat now? Carrots 'n' potatoes? Nah, they eats solutions. Cast off that rod, let's see.

Oh! I gots me a big one!

Reelin'

Reelin'

Reelin'

Lady Stanyon  ... all sortsa gadgetry and inventin' on days one an' two but nuthin' after that.

Cast off again...

Reelin'

Reelin'

Yeehawww gots me another biggun:

Yikimo Ellington gots a thing for darkness and light don't he? Hmmm, not sure if this is red herrin' or white plaice. I'm a chuck that one back in the lake.

What's else?

Reelin'

Reelin'

Well the low-down varment and heel Beckett, he had a thing for lock picks on the first two days and also energy. Then FIRE and sacrifice after that. Man, I can't tell if this is herrin' or a Rainbow Shark. I reckon he ain't no ghost.

Reelin'

Then there's Turn... Parsnip ... I mean Radish. Who if ya'll look carefully...  well knock me down and steal muh teeth ... he's always goin' on bout OPENING and CLOSING things.

Radish 'n' the good man Ellington, they was both quiet in Day 2. I reckon I mighta smoked us a pair o' kippers y'all.

#14 Hentzau

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 11:05 AM

It's a bear, and everyone knows that bears like sweet, sweet porridge - at least, everyone who is up on their fairy tales. So what we do is, we get some porridge. Where from? What's the point in having a divine avatar around if he can't do his own version of loaves into fishes, only with porridge instead of fishes. This is a bear, so we'll need a lot, but that's good because we're going to lace it with an industrial-strength laxative. Now, naturally the bear is going to be far too wily for us to get by it while it is eating the porridge, but as the popular saying goes bears are well known for doing their business in the woods, so when the laxative kicks in it will have to lumber off to find some, leaving the way clear for us to pass through.

#15 Kramer

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 11:19 AM

I should know better'n ta side with a low down good for nuthin' rake like Beckett, but that right there plan's a good un. Now we needs ta gets us some oats ...

#16 The House

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 11:31 AM

The whisk from Day 3 hums and starts beating an invisible meringue. The epochal spirit-link temporal redistributor object is activated and can now be used as a solution.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.

#17 Masked Dave

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:05 PM

View PostMasked Dave, on Apr 19 2009, 07:35 PM, said:

I find wild animals always dislike both fire and loud noises, since we have a man with a flaming sword and an American in our midst we should find both easy to produce.


View PostKramer, on Apr 20 2009, 12:00 PM, said:

Then there's Turn... Parsnip ... I mean Radish. Who if ya'll look carefully...  well knock me down and steal muh teeth ... he's always goin' on bout OPENING and CLOSING things.

Do I?
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#18 Kramer

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:10 PM

View PostMasked Dave, on Apr 15 2009, 12:16 AM, said:

Hmppf! Nonsense and piffle. The door's just jammed is all, I'll just give it the old heave-ho and we'll be out in a jiffy.

Openin'

View PostMasked Dave, on Apr 16 2009, 10:24 PM, said:

Why bother suggesting multiple solutions when a perfectly decent one has already presented?

In this case however the gas seems reasonably harmless, my socks seem to be quite fine. There must be some valve we can turn off or block up around here and the just open a window to get rid of what remains.

Openin'

View PostMasked Dave, on Apr 18 2009, 11:22 AM, said:

Well whatever happens we need to close this portal now don't we, can't go around leaving things like that just laying around. Luckily I brought my old service revolver, now if I shoot out the floor around the vortex, it should fall down into the basement and hopeful colapse in the process.

Closin'

An' this day ain't over yet.

#19 Masked Dave

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:16 PM

In which case I also suggest shooting the bear.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#20 Kramer

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:17 PM

Guess I caught me one of them red herrin' after all then. :D

#21 Masked Dave

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:25 PM

In my figuring, the following have points: Clearasday, Jentastic, Jim and Kramer.

Since people take their points with them if they get turned, it's in our interest to spread them about. So therefore Beckett/Henty.
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#22 Clearasday

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:45 PM

Our dear Mr Jones and our mysterious Beckett have both at some point accused me of 'lying-low' solution-wise on day 2. Now really, I didn't want to have to go into the obvious detail, but it seems I will have to point out, yet again, that I could not propose a solution day 2. I was around to vote though, so I would kindly ask you to desist your queries of my silence.
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#23 Clearasday

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 01:10 PM

Also, joining in for a spot of fishing with Mr Jones, if he doesn't mind at all, I'd say the demons among us should be proposing solutions willy-nilly in the hopes of disguising their theme, yet nobody appears to have done that. Hrmm.

Colonel Radish is about as human as we're going to get, unless his theme is killing things or hurting people, although I could say the same for our Mr Beckett.
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."

#24 Kramer

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 01:33 PM

Aw, you come by Jim Jones now and we's a-do some fishin' together. Ya forgettin' sumthin' there fella, they can choose not to propose their solutions to turn one of us.

I also spotted sumthin' else with my keen fishin' eye: there's been a few tiebreakers and the rules say a turned ghost ain't got no vote for the first day. Sumthin' else ta think about.

An' since no one thinks I can get my cobra clutch on that there bear, why don't we try usin' that there thingymajig onnit, what that called again? "Epochal spirit-link temporal redistributor object". Let's go fur it, the suggestions so far been about as useful as gooseshit on a pumphandle. We ain't got all night.

#25 The House

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Posted 20 April 2009 - 01:36 PM

Reminder: the epochal spirit-link temporal redistributor object is the radio, and using it will make the game end.
It was an evil house from the beginning - a house that was born bad.