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#1 Josh

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 02:45 PM

So this is the idea. After 4M was cancelled the actors must have wondered off to other jobs - career characters never stay away for long, after all. In this thread we document their ongoing careers. Did Jenad and Tichinde turn up in a zany sitcom set in Chicago? Perhaps Fat Man Jan had his own cooking show. Find out here.

The rules - you have to continue with the existing show. You can, however, simply post *click*, at which point we change the channel, and the next person may start a new show, althoughif you want to start a new show yourself you should wait until another person *clicks*. Shows don't have to start at the beginning - we can come in half way through an episode. Characters have to remain themselves, although concessions may be made where necessary (e.g. Jenad is always an angst-ridden homeless Jedi, but may not have a lightsaber in a Period Drama). Anyone may post for any character. If *click* has been posted then the channel much change, although we can return to shows a few *click*s later if they're popular.

Anything else we'll wing as we go.


*click*

It's the middle of a documentary on the discoveries of the Ancient Aztecs. As the shot glides effortlessly over the canopy of an Amazonian jungle, we hear the voice of TimePie come in with the narration.

TIMPIE: So as we've seen, the Aztecs were a totally advanced civilisation who were way cooler than everyone thinks. They had death rays in every pyramid and really hot ladyboys, and gods with snakes instead of heads.

The image cuts to a vase. In super-slow motion, a hammer smashes it, for no readily appreciable reason.

TIMEPIE: Their culture may have been super-advanced but that didn't stop them being wiped out by the Spaniards. I mean, come on! All they had was dogs, and the Aztecs had fuckin' death rays.

The screen flashes black and white, then a picture of a cheeseboard slowly fades in.

TIMEPIE: They also discovered Communarchy, the Government of the Future, but the White House tried to suppress it.

A knife thuds into the lump of cheese.

TIMPEPIE: This is totally demeaning.

*click*
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#2 Carlisle Dave

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 03:00 PM

The screen shows a darkened hall way. A puff of cigarette smoke is seen briefly before the sound of a key in the door. The door opens, the silhouette of a man in front of a streetlight. He sighs.

"And what time do you call this?" says Dr Mark Sloane, standing up from the stairs, a mixing bowl under his arm.
"Leave it out!" shouts Quincy back at him.
"Leave it out?! Leave it out?! It's you I should be leaving out!" screams back Sloane, his cockney accent unconvincing and with a hint of Australian.
"Shut it!"
"You've been out with Sam again, aint ya!"
"I said - leave it out!"
"You've been out having fun with your mates and I've been stuck here! This cake is never going to rise now!" Sloane throws the mixing bowl down at Quincy's feet.
"You're going to regret doing that!" says Quincy menacingly. He picks up a nearby object and advances on Sloane.

A thunderous drum beat is heard and the credits start to role.

*Click*

#3 Josh

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 04:10 PM

A door slams open and Mr Death skids in on one leg. He heads straight for the fridge.

Loweko jumps out from the couch where he had been sitting next to Miss Marple. "Hey, I thought that was my fridge!" he says, and the audience laughs.

Mr Death wipes milk off of his cowl. "That's what the man wants you to think," he says, before taking a sausage and disappearing back into the hall.

Miss Marple tries to spring up, but has a didgy him, to more kind of slumps forward. "We have to do something about Mr Death!" she says. "He's eating you out of house and home, Loweko."

"I know," he says, "But he's done so much for us in the past, helping me out by working in the coffee shop, and that time when we had to stop the Masked Writer from marrying Jimmy Saville because he thought it was Connie..."

"I know, he's a good friend, but taking that sausage means that you don't have enough for a sausage sandwich now!"

"That bastard!" says Loweko, pounding his fist into his hand. "We're going to have to get him back, Marple. Come in!"

He leaves the flat dynamically. Miss Marple tried to follow quickly and look pretty, but is physically disposed to do neither.
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#4 Innokenti

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 04:32 PM

Death sits on a chair in another room staring at the sausage, he moves it towards his mouth-area slowly when the door slams open and Loweko and Marple stand poised in the doorway. Death's eyes turn and he freezes. Marple's hip squeaks.

Canned laughter.

"I demand sausage return!" Loweko says.

"But I'm hungry, I haven't eaten for ages," Death replies.

"That's because you're an anthrapamorphic personification and do not have any organs required for eating," Marple pipes. Laughter.

"Well damn," with a flurry of the cloack Death jumps out the window leaving the sausage behind, a cat squeaks in the background. Laughter.

Loweko stares with glee at the sauasage before a mouse ste-

*click*
Proud of Russia because we have cheaper Paracetamol
"" Jen (and KD) on my photoshop skills.
Look no further for Kentoshop™, KentiHugs™ and Abwebsobmeb!
"I don't know who he is either but whoever it is he looks craaaazy..." - Optimist about me. 

#5 Masked Dave

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 06:06 PM

"WHAT AN AMAZING EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB, EH KIDS??!"

*cheers from audience of children*

"It sure was Clive!" says Kidz, before spinning on the spot and doing a little dance. Because he can.

"Now, before Captain Scarlet comes on we've got a competition for you, ain't we Clive... Clive? CLIVE! What did I tell you about eating the children!!"

*click*
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#6 Janek

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 06:14 PM

A shot of a desert horizon, with a row of ever-increasing lights in the distance. We hear the sounds of Wagner getting louder and louder as the Apaches get nearer, and as the lead Apache reaches a stage the crescendo is deafening.

A man descends from the hovering gunship, wielding a microphone with a mongoose logo on the front.

"Hello! And welcome to Big Music!" The audience cheers as the helicopters fly away into the evening, and Mr Big takes a sip of gin when he thinks the cameras aren't looking.

"We're not normally Big on tributes, but tonight's act is Big indeed! Give it up, for FIVE! HUNDRED! FOOT! ROBOTIC! BOB! DYLAN!"

*click*
Ah! Harvard University! The special jail where people with too much math are imprisoned forever and forced to teach each other about poems.

Sandwiches are better than people. You can put anything you want in a sandwich, and it won't complain.

You spin me right round, baby, right round, in a manner depriving me of an inertial reference frame. Baby.

#7 Innokenti

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 07:23 PM

"-and the storm front will be moving steadily against southern England until Monday morning. I really can't believe I am doing this. Which self-respecting person does weather forecast these days anyway?

Whatever, expect heavy heavy showers all day tomorrow, sun the day after and big helping of inter-galactic war on Sundayonlyjoking.

Honestly, do any of you believe in weather forecasts anyway?"

For it is he, Bob!

*click*
Proud of Russia because we have cheaper Paracetamol
"" Jen (and KD) on my photoshop skills.
Look no further for Kentoshop™, KentiHugs™ and Abwebsobmeb!
"I don't know who he is either but whoever it is he looks craaaazy..." - Optimist about me. 

#8 Insane Genius

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 07:38 PM

*BOOM* (big explosion)
(\_.._/)
(0 .. 0)
(>.S.<)
...v..v...

SUPER BUNNY Says: Meh

#9 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 13 October 2005 - 08:07 PM

"DID Y'SEE THAT EXPLOSION?! EH?! WHAT A BOOM!! NOW WE CAN GO LIVE TO SEE A MAN HAVE BEARTRAPS THROWN AT HIS HEAD!! OVER TO YOU, STEVE!!!"
*click*
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#10 Janek

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 01:06 AM

"YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE MY SAUSAGE IS!"

*squeak!*

*Canned laughter*

"if you do not tell me where the sausage is..." says Loweko, moving to the controls of the electric railway set. "YOU WILL DIE!"

*gasps from the crowd*

The mouse looks in panic at the approaching miniature Thomas the Tank Engine...
Ah! Harvard University! The special jail where people with too much math are imprisoned forever and forced to teach each other about poems.

Sandwiches are better than people. You can put anything you want in a sandwich, and it won't complain.

You spin me right round, baby, right round, in a manner depriving me of an inertial reference frame. Baby.

#11 Innokenti

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 07:20 AM

Death sitting silently in the corner inspecting his bony fingers. He is nonchalant. Laughter.

There is a THUMP, a SQUEAK and mad cackling. Laughter.

Death stands up, walks out of camera and quickly returns. We hear complicated metallic, grabbing and squeaking, the choo-choo of a train and an exclamation of "WHERE IS MY SAUSAGE". Laughter.

Camera shifts slightly right of Death and we see Marple doing knitting.

"Is that another one gone?" she asks.

"Yes, it's a shame that Lowe can't actually tell one mouse from another" Death sighs. Laughter.
Proud of Russia because we have cheaper Paracetamol
"" Jen (and KD) on my photoshop skills.
Look no further for Kentoshop™, KentiHugs™ and Abwebsobmeb!
"I don't know who he is either but whoever it is he looks craaaazy..." - Optimist about me. 

#12 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 15 October 2005 - 01:12 PM

*click*
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#13 Josh

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Posted 15 October 2005 - 06:52 PM

"... AND ONE BY ONE THEY WILL BE VOTED OFF AS - THE WEAKEST SPHINX!"

The lights pan up, and the main sphinx, covered in a black sheet, turns around.

"LET'S MEET THE TEAM."

"I AM KRAGAKAR AND I LIKE TO EAT MOR-TULS."
"I AM YETHSHEBA AND I AM A MOR-TUL EATER."
"I AM SHRAGON, I AM 45 THOUSAND YEARS OLD, AND IN MY FREE TIME I EAT MOR-TULS."
"HI, MY NAME IS GRANART, AND I EAT MOR-TULS."
"I AM LARNAR, AND I AM AN APPRENTICE MOR-TUL EATER."
"I'm The Masked Writer, and I'm a hit-man."
"I AM CALLED JETHSHEBA, AND I CONSUME THE TASTY FLESH OF MOR-TULS."
"MY NAME IS KÆLYAR, AND I AM A TAX INSPECTOR AND DEVOURER OF MOR-TULS."

The lights centre on the main sphinx. The other sphinxes brace themselves for a deluge of whithering sarcasm. Masked stands there blinking blithely, dwarfed by the towering sphinxi.

"SPHINX GRANART, YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ADMIRER OF MOR-TUL FLESH. HOW MANY MOR-TULS HAVE YOU ACTUALLY CONSUMED?"

Granart shifts uncomfortably.

"I AM ONLY YOUNG, SPHINX RYBYNZN, I..."

"GET TO THE POINT, FOOLISH PUPPY!"

"I HAVE ONLY CONSUMED 784 MOR-TULS."

There is a pregnant pause.

"WELL THAT IS TRUELY PATHETIC," says the main sphinx. Granart looks like he is about to retorn, but she turns away disdainfully and the lights switch off. Instead she focuses on Masked.

"SPHINX THE MASKED WRITER," she says, "YOU ARE SMALL AND SOFT AND SQUISHY. IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE IN FACT A MOR-TUL?"

Masked blinks a few times in the light. It dawns on him the the other sphinxes are suddenly staring at him with a great deal of interest.
George Alagiaaaaaaargh: I lost my pecker in the siege :(

#14 Masked Dave

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Posted 16 October 2005 - 08:12 AM

"Heh, funny story there actually. I... um... see, ooh what nice fangs you have, do you really need to lick them like that? Oh, you do. Okay. Well.. um, as I was saying - those really are huge claws, used to know a bloke called Claws, bit of a simple chap really not that I'm saying you're simple or anything but, well, it's kinda of relevant to my story, he used to work for this woman named Connie, I'm sure you've heard of her, pure evil in a transparent body, and well, one day - LOOK OVER THERE! A THREE HEADED MONKEY!"
"It's amazing how deep we had to drill to find our key difference,
but it seems that whilst I am Amazing you are Ultimate."- Lu

#15 Carlisle Dave

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Posted 17 October 2005 - 08:09 PM

*click*

#16 Inflammable Jim

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Posted 17 October 2005 - 11:48 PM

"...And, if you look very closely through the trees, you can see clearly simia tricrania, reclining on a branch, his left and central heads engaged in a passionate philosophical debate, his right head trying to catch a short nap before the inevitable debate over which tree to attend for the evening feast.
This three-head has been named Stripe by the researchers, because of the prominent central red stripe they painted across his shoulders for monitoring purposes. And quite extraordinary results have been coming in from Stripe, showing he gets hunted a great deal more than expected. It is only thanks to the flawless shooting of our sound-recordist team that we have been able to preserve the balance of nature this far. Quite remarkable..."

*click*
You know...we lost the first battle of the Chesapeake because of a mysterious...treacherous...Ankylosaurus

#17 Innokenti

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Posted 18 October 2005 - 01:37 PM

Desert. The camera pans onto a camel chewing.

TIMEPIE: This, this is a prime example of cunning disguise adapted by the Bah'Pah tribe to fool their enemies into dying.

The camel explodes removing a dummy placed next to it.

TIMEPIE: As we all know the tactic led to the extermination of the Bah'Pah and most of their enemies...

Map of the desert turning a yucky red colour and exploding.

TIMEPIE: ... and the rather fortunate rise of Desert Communarchy. Which, if we remember from the previous episode of the series which I know you all watched because if you didn't then, yes, the men in hats are knocking at your doors!

Switch to a door being broken down and Crust Guards running in to apprehend a poor citizen who has his rights read out and then brains shot in.

TIMPIE: Who as we know differ from normal, good Communarchy by being in the desert. And by good I mean evil. Of course.
Proud of Russia because we have cheaper Paracetamol
"" Jen (and KD) on my photoshop skills.
Look no further for Kentoshop™, KentiHugs™ and Abwebsobmeb!
"I don't know who he is either but whoever it is he looks craaaazy..." - Optimist about me. 

#18 Insane Genius

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Posted 25 October 2005 - 07:14 PM

*click*
(\_.._/)
(0 .. 0)
(>.S.<)
...v..v...

SUPER BUNNY Says: Meh

#19 Insane Genius

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Posted 25 October 2005 - 07:16 PM

and with their new single, its...

Baz and Mave with Muppet. Take it away guys...


...muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppet, muppetmuppetmuppetmuppetmuppet...
(\_.._/)
(0 .. 0)
(>.S.<)
...v..v...

SUPER BUNNY Says: Meh

#20 Insane Genius

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Posted 02 December 2005 - 08:49 PM

"This T.V. ain't no good!"

*smash* *crackle* *hiss*
(\_.._/)
(0 .. 0)
(>.S.<)
...v..v...

SUPER BUNNY Says: Meh